I know these are everywhere, but I just thought I'd share anyways
On Sears hair dryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
On a Swann frozen dinner:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
"Fits one head."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
"Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
"Do not drive car or operate machinery."
On Nytol sleep aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On a Korean kitchen knife:
"Warning: Keep out of children."
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."