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Post by Chris on Mar 8, 2009 20:12:33 GMT
Josh, I thought you'd appriciated this one
What's brown and sits on a piano?
Mozart's first movement
;D
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Post by Schamæl on Mar 9, 2009 18:00:42 GMT
lol  That's a good one  I can see many lols in this section... XD |
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Post by Regenschirm on Mar 11, 2009 19:04:28 GMT
why did the chicken cross the road ? to get to the other side ;D ;D   ADMIN EDIT: Took out the big space - a lot of people find them annoying :/ - Schamael |
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Post by Chris on Mar 11, 2009 21:56:46 GMT
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Post by Chris on Mar 11, 2009 22:13:40 GMT
Lil sexist but oh well...
First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing' ."
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then he added a mouth. Ruined the whole bloody thing.
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Post by Chris on Mar 21, 2009 17:35:22 GMT
I was walking through the park and I saw an old guy doing Tai Chi.
I watched him for a while, marvelling at his moves.
Only when I got closer did I see it was a tramp trying to put on his coat.
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Post by Chris on Mar 21, 2009 17:44:16 GMT
An Enlgish man, A irish man, a scottish man and a welsh man are all sitting at a bar having a friendly drink when they ask eachother their names.
Scottish Man: My name is Andrew, because i was born on St.Andrews Day. What about you english man?
English Man: George, Because i was born on St. Georges Day what about you welsh man?
Welsh Man: I am called David, because i was born on St. Davids day. Irish man what is your name?
Irish Man: My names Pancake...
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Post by Chris on Mar 27, 2009 23:17:11 GMT
Why did God invent colour blindness?
So someone will fancy the ginger kids.
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Post by Chris on Mar 27, 2009 23:20:20 GMT
A ginger man finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. "Ah, hell," says the genie, "What do you want?"
The ginger says "I want a huge mansion with a thousand rooms and a hundred floors, all made of pure gold" the genie looks at him and says "don't be an idiot, do you have any idea how much gold that would take? that's impossible. pick something else." so the ginger says "I want everyone to stop taking the piss out of my hair colour"
the genie says "so this mansion, you want en suite bathrooms?"
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Post by Chris on Mar 27, 2009 23:21:45 GMT
The internet - so gingers can have friends too.
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Post by Chris on Mar 27, 2009 23:23:29 GMT
What does a ginger miss most about parties?
The invitation.
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Post by SneakyAdam on Mar 28, 2009 11:53:23 GMT
In reply to Barney's post:
I long for a day, where chickens can cross the road and NOT have their motives questioned!
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Post by Chris on Mar 30, 2009 21:54:25 GMT
A man ended up in a hospital today, covered in wood and hay, with a toy horse lodged in his bum. The doctors have described his condition as stable. ADMIN EDIT: Edited expletives ... only in the Adults' section, please... |
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Post by Chris on Mar 30, 2009 22:01:58 GMT
3 kids in school one day.
The teacher asks them, "What do cows say?"
Amy replies "moo!"
Teacher then asks, "What do sheep say?"
Jack replies, "baa!"
Teacher then asks, "What do pigs say?"
Leroy says "Freeze mother******, put the gun on the ground and your hands behind your head"
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Post by Chris on Apr 1, 2009 17:42:04 GMT
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.......
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