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Post by Chris on Apr 3, 2009 20:28:58 GMT
No wonder Americans are so fat ... they think chasing the American dream is exercise
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Post by Chris on Apr 3, 2009 20:33:59 GMT
My wife says it's disgusting to wee in the bath.
I suppose I should wait until she gets out.
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Post by JugglinJake on Apr 4, 2009 6:22:48 GMT
What do you call a black pilot?
A PILOT YOU EFFIN RACIST!!! LOL
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Post by OctoberFlames on Apr 10, 2009 3:07:19 GMT
I have the greatest joke ever.
It's called religion.
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Post by Chris on Apr 16, 2009 19:14:39 GMT
Bit of a maths joke for y'all
There was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield.
There were 3.14159265 reported dead.
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Post by Schamæl on Apr 17, 2009 10:07:32 GMT
lol  *herr herr herr...* *snort* *snort*  |
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Post by SneakyAdam on Apr 17, 2009 15:38:26 GMT
What did the proton say to the electron?
I'M POSITIVE!
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Post by Chris on Apr 22, 2009 16:54:02 GMT
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it
a surprising twist at the end.
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Post by Chris on Apr 22, 2009 19:58:54 GMT
A chav walks into the local jobcentre to sign on, "Hi! I hate being on the dole. I've been looking for jobs but cant find one ive..."
The clerk behind the desk quickly interrupts and says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter.
You'll get to drive around in his Mercedes and hell buy you suitable clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is £200,000 a year".
The chav says, "You're messing me?!"
The representative says, "Yeah, well, you started it".
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Post by Chris on May 6, 2009 21:20:10 GMT
And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal happiness.'
But John came fifth and won a Toaster.
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Post by Schamæl on May 7, 2009 15:40:15 GMT
lol that's a good one |
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Post by Schamæl on May 28, 2009 18:05:11 GMT
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. |
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Post by Chris on May 28, 2009 19:14:34 GMT
thats dark *disappointed*
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Post by Schamæl on May 28, 2009 19:38:59 GMT
lol my dad gave me that one, of all people and since when do you not like dark jokes? :S lol It's a U rating by your standards! |
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Post by Chris on May 28, 2009 20:43:51 GMT
yeh but coming from me that is normal, from you, its not right, its dark. like you say, coming from me thats a U
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